And for these reasons, Shark Tank Store, I’m out

November 26, 2022

Cari and I both own Yellowstone clothing and a Yellowstone blanket. We both own Axe Capital vests (from Billions). I have a Ted Lasso t-shirt and mask. We’re both very happy to buy and wear clothing from our favorite TV shows.

So I was pretty damn disappointed to visit the official ABC/Shark Tank online store. It’s literally just 11 items with the Shark Tank logo on them. Ugh.

Where’s the creativity? Where’s the choice and options?

I imagine there are legal issues that would prevent them from using the names and/or likenesses of the sharks. Fair enough. We can live without that, I guess.

But here are 12 things they should be putting on t-shirts, mugs, etc.

  • “I’m out!”
  • “And for those reasons, I’m out.”
  • “I’m going to make you an offer.”
  • “Next into the Tank…”
  • “You’re dead to me!”
  • “I’m going to crush you like the cockroach you are!”
  • “All roads lead back to Mr. Wonderful”
  • “Do I smell a royalty?”
  • “You’ve got a deal!”
  • “I need more skin in the game.”
  • “That’s a Slick Willie move.” (phrase Daymond John used to say more often than he has recently)
  • “This is a product, not a company.”

I’d definitely buy some stuff with one of those catchphrases on the front. And there’s gotta be 10-20 more they could use, too.

Pretty sure that each of the Sharks has a great online/e-commerce team, so maybe one of them could take over for ABC? But until then…I’m out.

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